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Building your self – confidence!

“Natural Confidence” is a myth”

There is not such a thing!!! You can develop it, you can increase it

When I first started building my coaching practice about 7 years ago I decided to look into it, to invest time determining its origin, and how to gain that X factor…

Who were those people who seemed to be confident in every situation? One of the most important lessons I learned was that I tended to lack confidence when I compared what other people LOOKED like on the outside, with how I was FEELING on the inside… What a mistake that was! I had NO CLUE what they were feeling on the inside.

Over the years, I’ve met and coached super successful people in all sorts of fields And while some of them are confident in most situations, most of them can look totally confident on the outside, while going through EVERYTHING I go through on the inside… Self-doubt, insecurity, fear of missing out, impostor syndrome, voices in your head, saying you are not enough…

Sound familiar?

Well… you’re not alone.


Many of us have limiting beliefs about ourselves in at least one area of our lives. These limiting beliefs lead to a decrease in confidence.

You may be an expert and thriving in one area of your life, but in other areas, you may lack confidence for a variety of reasons. Often we know that in order to be successful we must be more confident, but the question is, how can we gain confidence, and keep it?

Stop Comparing

At some time, we have all tried to act like someone else. The one thing that we found: we could not actually be them. Their past is different, their biology is different, and there is a lot you don’t know about what they’re portraying to the world.

Exhausting energy on trying to be something that you’re not, or fighting day in and out for someone else’s approval will minimize self-confidence. When you compare yourself, you are now set in a direct line for failure and feelings of guilt. These feelings only push away confidence.

Action step: Shift the focus that you’re wasting in comparison back to you and your goals and you will instantly see an increase in self-confidence.

Guard yourself against your self-talk!

You may have gotten stuck on thinking the same things about yourself for so long that you aren’t aware of tools that make your self-talk more positive.

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you will believe it!!!

Does this sound familiar?

I don’t think I can do this. I failed last time. I always mess up. I’m not sure I’ll make it. Maybe I wasn’t made for this.

And how about this?

I got this. I will nail it. I will succeed. I’m so proud of myself. I knew I would get this far.

Who do you think will achieve their goal? This is not a trick question.

The messages that you repeatedly send to yourself day in and day out reflect your ability to see opportunity—the willingness to act on this seen opportunity—and ultimately your success.

Action step: Stop thoughts that are limiting and self-defeating. Cut your negative thoughts immediately and replace with words that are positive and confident. The more you repeatedly send positive messages to yourself, the more confident you will become.

Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone

You have to work for your confidence. In order to do this, you have to analyze what you’d like to avoid. If you lack confidence in speaking up during business meetings, then you need to start speaking up during those business meetings. Instead of just shouting something out, go ahead and create a plan for what you want to say and have your notes in front of you, and practice it...

This way you will be more prepared for the uncomfortable situation ahead. The more you speak up during business meetings, the higher your confidence level, the more comfortable you will become.

Action step: This week, step out of your comfort zone 3 times. The more frequently you step outside your comfort zone, the quicker this type of behavior will become a habit. Life outside your comfort zone offers more opportunities—and more successes. More personal successes mean more self-confidence.

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